Worried about your looks every time you pass a mirror? Or maybe you’re just upset you didn’t get something big and shiny enough for your 21st birthday. At any rate, look away, because you’re not going to want to see what Canadian starlet Justin Bieber got for his 18th.
In a five-minute festival of fawning on The Ellen de Generes Show, hitherto unparallelled for its cross-promotional density, Ellen the Generous and Bieber’s manager Scooter – who Ellen also just adoooooores! – lavished praise on Bieber for his sick-kiddie work and the humility he shows in demanding there be no cameras there when he’s doing it.
“You work really hard, and I always yell at you ‘don’t get anything flashy. Be humble, be humble’”, Scooter – aka Scott Braun – swooned. “We wanted you to look environmentally friendly. We wanted to make sure, since you love cars, that when you’re on the road you are always looking environmentally friendly,” he continued, Ellen hovering nearby.
“We decided to get you a car that would make you stand out. I think you know where I’m going, and you’re kind of freaking out right now.” DeGeneres could hardly contain herself. The cameras swung left to reveal… “That’s a Fisker Karma!”
To cheers and whoops from the audience, Bieber clambered in and out of it, Scooter continued his monologue about what a terrific guy he is and Ellen festooned it with Ellen things, including a copy of her new book. The title of the book, out of sheer spite, we’re not going to reproduce here. We’re like that.
But you know what? While it was big enough – most things look big beside Justin Bieber – it turned out the Eclipse metallic black paint job (something like the car in the picture) didn’t quite sate our man’s lust for lustre.
So what did the little ingrate do? He took it away and got it refinished. In chrome. End to end. The result is like a giant distorting circus mirror. Look at it as it passes you by and all you see is you, drawn ugly.
A spokesman for the American Association of Cosmetic Surgeons described the car as ‘a shot in the arm for our industry’.
You can watch the clip featuring the reveal of the car in black, and TMZ offered an amusing take on Bieber in a fast-food chicken drive-through after the car had been 'chromed'.