Bram Stoker must be rolling in his grave. The horror genre that he hatched with his vampire novel "Dracula" has mutated into something toothless. Whereas Stoker's count was a gloomy Transylvanian who needed fresh blood to stave off death, the new breed of vampire is a sparkly American teen who needs fresh blood to stave off boredom.
The musical "I Kissed a Vampire" pushes the bloodsucker craze away from horror and toward the theme parks of Orlando. Although there have been numerous horror spoofs and musicals since "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," this one is too squeaky clean to play the midnight-movie circuit. Its target audience has a curfew and a complete set of "High School Musical" DVDs.
That's where they would have seen Lucas Grabeel, who was the character Ryan Evans and here plays a teen named Dylan who fears he contracted blood-lust from a European exchange student. And that's where they would have heard Drew Seeley, who did the singing for Zac Efron and here steals the spotlight as goth rocker Trey Sylvania.
Trey lures the lightly infected Dylan to the demimonde, where he and his vampire vixens hope to put a bite on Dylan's girlfriend, Sara (Adrian Slade). But in this flick, the dark side is as bright as a cruise-ship showroom, where the singing and dancing would fit nicely, while the jokes are as dull as Disney sitcom throwaways.
It's lighter than a Virgin Mary cocktail, but as an antidote to the mopey "Twilight" films, "I Kissed a Vampire" doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.